“𝗙𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽” 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽: 𝗔 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
…By Luchuo Engelbert Bain
I must confess, this was the first time in my life that I celebrated International Men’s Day. (Indeed, I had no idea it even existed, even as a father myself.)
Attending the International Men’s Day event organized by the African Population and Health Research Center this year imposed a “pause and reflect” moment for me.
As I reflect on how my dad treated me as a child through my adolescence, I value even more the role fathers play in the lives of children.
I found it exceptionally funny when I asked my dad, a couple of weeks ago, to share the message he retained from church. This was a question I had to systematically answer after mass while growing up.
𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝟭: 𝗔𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 – 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆
I had terrible handwriting—possibly the worst—during my early years in secondary school. Despite performing relatively well academically, my dad bought a handwriting book for me. He tasked me with writing, “The old black fox jumped over the lazy dog” 100 times. It transformed my handwriting!
𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝟮: 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 – 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿
As a kid who enjoyed playing, especially football, I was devastated when my dad (in good faith, as I now understand) completely forbade me from playing. At the time, it felt like torture.
𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝟯: 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 bitter and 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀
In secondary school, I had to sweep the house surroundings, clean my dad’s shoes, iron his clothes, sometimes work on the farm before heading to school, and still be on time for classes.
𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝟰: 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹
As an English teacher, my dad nurtured my love for literature by correcting me after every one or two sentences I spoke. I began writing numerous applications for sponsorship, knowing he couldn’t afford certain opportunities I needed to achieve my goals. I become comfortable in daring to apply as well as taking rejection as a source of encouragement to apply more:
𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝟱: 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗯𝗶𝗴, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀
𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥’𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦—𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵—𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘲𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥. 𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥’𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘴.
I strongly believe that “fathership” plays a key role in shaping true leaders.
Thank You, Dad: Luchuo Patrick Mubang.
