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โ€œ๐—™๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฝโ€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฝ: ๐—” ๐—ฃ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฅ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป

By Luchuo Engelbert Bain

I must confess, this was the first time in my life that I celebrated International Menโ€™s Day. (Indeed, I had no idea it even existed, even as a father myself.)

Attending the International Men’s Day event organized by the African Population and Health Research Center this year imposed a “pause and reflect” moment for me.

As I reflect on how my dad treated me as a child through my adolescence, I value even more the role fathers play in the lives of children.

I found it exceptionally funny when I asked my dad, a couple of weeks ago, to share the message he retained from church. This was a question I had to systematically answer after mass while growing up.

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐Ÿญ: ๐—”๐—น๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป โ€“ ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜†
I had terrible handwritingโ€”possibly the worstโ€”during my early years in secondary school. Despite performing relatively well academically, my dad bought a handwriting book for me. He tasked me with writing, โ€œThe old black fox jumped over the lazy dogโ€ 100 times. It transformed my handwriting!

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐Ÿฎ: ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜„ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ป โ€“ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ
As a kid who enjoyed playing, especially football, I was devastated when my dad (in good faith, as I now understand) completely forbade me from playing. At the time, it felt like torture.

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐Ÿฏ: ๐—•๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—บ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ bitter and ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ณ๐—ณ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—บ๐˜‚๐—น๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€
In secondary school, I had to sweep the house surroundings, clean my dadโ€™s shoes, iron his clothes, sometimes work on the farm before heading to school, and still be on time for classes.

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐Ÿฐ: ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—บ๐˜‚๐—น๐˜๐—ถ๐˜๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ธ ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น
As an English teacher, my dad nurtured my love for literature by correcting me after every one or two sentences I spoke. I began writing numerous applications for sponsorship, knowing he couldnโ€™t afford certain opportunities I needed to achieve my goals. I become comfortable in daring to apply as well as taking rejection as a source of encouragement to apply more:

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐Ÿฑ: ๐—œ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—บ ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—ด, ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐˜€
๐˜‰๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฅโ€™๐˜ด ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆโ€”๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ตโ€”๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ข ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฒ๐˜ถ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ. ๐˜–๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ข ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฅโ€™๐˜ด ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด.

I strongly believe that โ€œfathershipโ€ plays a key role in shaping true leaders.
Thank You, Dad: Luchuo Patrick Mubang.

Luchuo Engelbert Bain